


Whatever It Takes

by fallenandthefaithless (billys_consulting_flatmates)



Series: season 13 codas [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas's POV, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Episode: s13e14 Good Intentions, I love that there was already a tag for that, M/M, Miscommunication, Pre-Relationship, coda fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-26 21:51:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13866729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/billys_consulting_flatmates/pseuds/fallenandthefaithless
Summary: The role of the soldier felt awkward on him, like an old suit, outgrown and long since abandoned pulled on once more in a time of desperate measures. Dean and Sam’s sceptical gazes weighed like concrete upon him but Cas didn’t regret his actions. He couldn’t.





	Whatever It Takes

The role of the soldier felt awkward on him, like an old suit, outgrown and long since abandoned pulled on once more in a time of desperate measures. Dean and Sam’s sceptical gazes weighed like concrete upon him but Cas didn’t regret his actions. He couldn’t. There was no time to waste and Jack and Mary had been trapped for far too long as it was. He knew Michael, knew what he was capable of even if this was another worlds Michael. He had seen with own eyes what Michael had done to that world and the thought that Jack and Mary were still there, after weeks and months respectively, haunted him.

He stared Dean down, his own words heavy in the air. _Whatever it takes_. It was what they always did, it seemed. A cycle that they were all trapped in but it felt to Cas that this code, this mantra of theirs was more like a hidden wire, catching around Cas’s ankles and sending him crashing to the ground.

After a long, heavy moment Cas looked away, suddenly eager to leave the war room, to find somewhere deep in the bunker to hide away in. His head felt heavy, swimming and dizzy with the weight of Donatello’s knowledge and he found he couldn’t bear to stand around any longer.

He turned away from Dean and Sam and stalked off, down a twisting hallway and down to where the bedrooms were. It seemed to take an age to get to the room he used and while he was relieved to finally be granted some peace and quiet, a part of him sank with disappointment at the lack of footsteps behind him.

He shouldn’t be surprised, not after all this time. He should know better than to be disappointed. Dean had been upfront about the matter and had plainly stated just earlier that they needed Cas and Cas understood. The sound of Dean’s gun still echoed in his mind. But now they just seemed angry with him gaining the information they needed.

He sank onto the bed and sat still, his head hanging low as he stared at the ground before him. None of it seemed to make any sense and no matter what he did he seemed to fall short.

It was silent in his room for a long time. For how long Cas wasn’t sure as he was startled out of his thoughts when there was a quiet knock on his door.

“Come in,” he called after a moment. He’d half expected the door to just swing open but whoever it was on the other side, and he had a fairly good idea who, was waiting.

Dean came into the room slowly. Cas didn’t need to turn his head to know that Dean was staring at him. The weight of his gaze was heavier these days. Cas wasn’t sure what to make of it anymore.

The weight of his gaze wasn’t the only thing that Cas could feel. The familiar rush of longing that seemed to waft off Dean constantly entered the room with him but this was something Cas was familiar with even when it crushed him.

“You alright?”

Cas straightened before he glanced up at Dean. He’d been expecting more arguments, not more questions after Cas’s wellbeing. Those were new – not something he remembered hearing much from before.

“I’m fine.”

“You sure? I remember how those tablets got to Kevin and well…” he trailed off awkwardly and Cas sighed.

“No, I won’t be corrupted like Donatello.”

“I mean, you said that he got corrupted cause he was soulless.”

Dean slowly made his way further into the room, the door closing softly behind him. He wandered over to the desk and Cas couldn’t help but watch as he leant against ad looked over at Cas, a frown marring his beautiful face.

“Yes.”

Dean’s unspoken question hung in the air but Cas didn’t want to get into it. Instead he stood up and made his way to the door but Dean caught hold of his arm and Cas let him pull him back around.

“Cas, you gotta talk to me. I get that we’ve got a lot coming at us now but this whole soldier thing isn’t you,” Dean was staring at him, something desperate in his face and the longing in the air pressed down on Cas even more. Cas frowned at Dean.

“This ‘soldier thing’ is necessary Dean. We needed the spell and now we need those ingredients. I don’t have the luxury of not being a soldier.”

“We need to work together,” Dean cut in before Cas could continue. “I know, time is running out but you can’t just do your own thing. We’ll figure this out together.”

Cas could only stare at him, confusion warring in his mind. Dean’s longing and his contradictory statements were making his head swim and suddenly all Cas wanted was to lie down away from everything for a little bit.

“I mean it Cas,” Dean’s voice became softer than before and he caught Cas’s attention again. Dean’s face was creased with worry and Cas wished he could wipe it all away. “We will figure this out.” He reached out and squeezed Cas’s shoulder gently and let his hand slowly fall away, his fingers dragging against Cas’s coat and Cas was frozen, his mouth too dry to get any words out. The soft look in Dean’s eyes was too much and despite all they still had to do, despite the fact that Jack and Mary were still gone Cas couldn’t stop himself from relaxing and answering Dean’s questioning look with a nod.

Dean smiled at him, that frown still there, and Cas felt his own lips twitch. The room still felt heavy but Dean was right. They’d figure it out together. Whatever it took, they’d figure it out.

**Author's Note:**

> And there it is. Not too sure about this one but let me know what you think!
> 
> I'm over on [tumblr](http://fallenandthefaithless.tumblr.com/). Come say hi!


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